Monday Madness: Dear Grandpa...

I originally wrote this letter last fall after school started. 

Somehow it got lost in my draft file until I found it today. 

Must have been a reason I didn't find it till now.

 Enjoy!

Dear Grandpa,

I started teaching myself the guitar a year or so before you died. I loved it. You taught me shortcuts, tricks, and taught me how to figure out what key fit my voice the best.

One time I did a solo at church...with my guitar. My first guitar, the one that used to be great-grandpa's. The fretboard was a little high for my fingers, but I enjoyed it. At church, I was so nervous that my voice cracked and I could hardly get words out. You explained to me what happened:  I needed to pitch the song slightly higher because when you get nervous your throat tightens and it gets hard to sing.

Then you died.

No one was expecting it.

None of us woke up that day and thought, "Today Grandpa is going to Heaven."

No one knew that you would die where you loved...doing what you loved...hiking in the hills.

I stopped playing.

I couldn't do it.

Every time I picked up my guitar, my heart hurt, my throat ached and I wanted to throw up.

Grandpa's guitar...

Slowly...I started playing again. I worked through the tears. The day came when Grandma said I could have your guitar. YOUR guitar.....

I took it home and caressed it. I listened to the strings I loved so much. I opened the little drawer and found notes in your handwriting.

My love for playing was back.

Then almost 2 years ago, we went through a lot. We said goodbye to a little boy we loved dearly, who had been with us most of his life. You remember him, Grandpa. He always made you smile. He loved listening to me play your guitar and requested several songs by VeggieTales. I learned how to play them on my guitar for him.

And then...then we had to say goodbye. DHS had other plans for our little boy. They didn't follow the rules and no matter how hard we fought for our little boy, he was gone. Grandpa, your grey eyes would have filled up with tears knowing the pain we went through, the pain he went through.

Time went by and I forgot about playing my guitar as life threw some more curveballs. I was a mama of two sets of twins over a period of several months and my hands were full of dirty diapers, bottles and grinning, cooing babies. Then our last little addition entered our home. You would get a kick out of him cause he never stops moving. I could easily picture you taking him out to the garden or on a hike on the hill if you were still here. He has sure kept our life hopping this past year!

I'm happy to say that this week, I picked up my guitar again. Life has slowed down and has reached a new normal. I wondered, would I be sad or sentimental playing again? Grandpa, I'm happy to say I just feel happy! My fingers are sore as I break in the blisters again! But playing your guitar and remembering the happy and good times playing with you make my heart sing...

Recently I picked up Peter's ukelele and started playing it as well. A couple of the girls are playing ukelele, mandolin, and guitar. Grandpa, you would be so proud of our little family. Nothing made you smile more than seeing us serve God through our singing and playing!

Thank you for teaching me to love the Lord through your example of music. Thank you for getting excited when you saw I wanted to learn five years ago. Thanks for the twinkle in your eyes that said, "I love you!".

Thank you for the prayers...

I miss you Grandpa.....but I think that you are up there in Heaven....teaching the angels how to play bluegrass hymns!

Until Heaven...

Heidi

The girls at rest homes with grandpa playing.

Charlie and my ukelele