Today's Tuesday's Tidings Is Brought By:
Sierra
NOTE FROM HEIDI: Before you start reading this post, I want to preface this by saying that over the years as I have seen my girls emerge and grow as young women, there have been so many times when I have felt helpless as a parent. I know you have all been there. You see your child going through something that you wish you could take away and make easier for them. However, you know that in order for them to grow as a person and as a Christian, they need to learn how to lean on the Lord more than you.
I hope you enjoy reading the following blog as it was certainly a tough time we went through with Sierra but seeing how God has brought her through the other side, has been amazing and wonderful!
I believe it was two years ago, at Youth Camp, that there was a sermon on trials and how they made us stronger. How that in those times we would be closer to God. Well, I had been in a dry spot for a while at the time, so that night I prayed earnestly that God would send some trials my way.
The year passed and I forgot about my prayer. But this year at Camp Meeting I started to have a really hard time with tuning the devil's lies out. It was easy to lean on the Lord at first, but when it got harder I got upset.
Progressively harder trials came my way and each time I got more angry and depressed. I started to feel farther and farther away from God. Remembering to have my devotions in the morning got harder, and because of that, I wasn't getting the encouragement I needed.
Finally, I started to get angry at God, I wasn't in a good place. A really nasty trial came, and because of where I was spiritually, I was weak. I started changing as a person. I was hurting my siblings and my mom with my actions. I withdrew myself from them and was entirely too open-eared to the devil's lies.
Last month, it came time for Sacramento special meetings. I did not want to go, and in my cloudy sense of mind, I didn't even really know why. I assumed it was because I had a panic attack at the last youth meetings, but in reality, the devil knew God was working on me, and he was going to do everything in his power to keep me from going. However, my amazing mom wasn't going to let me get away with skipping, so I went with my dad and my other sisters.
God spoke to me in those meetings and made me realize that the reason I felt so dry before this trial started, was because of my self-hatred. That I needed to love myself because I'm made in His image. And He reminded me who asked for these trials in the first place!
I was so ashamed of myself! God then told me that He put me through the trails I'd been through to prove to me that He loves me and would never leave me. I felt real joy, which was amazing after wasting so much time trying to find it in temporary things.
The image that comes to my mind when I think about what I've learned is this: Outside you can find two kinds of sticks, the small ones don't break when you bend them because they move with the pressure, but the bigger ones are stiff and under pressure, they break. I realized that I was the stiff stick. What I learned is that if I don't trust God and I fight His Will, I'm eventually going to break. But if I lean on God in the hard times, He won't let me break, it will only make me stronger. The size difference represents our attitude about the pressure, when we trust our own understanding we inflate ourselves making it harder to bend. But when we don't try to understand why and trust in the Lord, we stay small. Small compared to God who has everything under control. This experience humbled me, and I can't thank God enough!!
Until next time...
Sierra
